Aunt Astrid is quick with the needles and pins
Especially when it comes to her brother’s twins
“Ted and Tom are such silly names”
She says and allows herself to play games
Aunt Astrid has always felt expired
She is what they call completely retired
“Being naughty is a full time work”
She says and laughs with yellow teeth
She says and calls her brother a jerk
While Ted and Tom listens beneath
Aunt Astrid grew up with her brother in Sweden
She describes it as a community Eden
Even if she left at the age
of three years old
She describes England as plague
and herself as bold
She screams “Our ancestors are wild!”
Ted and Tom crunches and feel mild
Stomach aches
When Astrid shakes
Her fist to the sky
To some power up high
And shouts “A viking, I am!”
And with a BAM
slams her beer back on the table
It rocks and looks far from stable.
Aunt Astrid says there is no bad weather
“Only bad kläder”
While sipping from a cup of rom
She forces Ted and Tom
To join her in a manic rain dance
It looks like some hypnotic trance
When her brother comes to pick them up
Astrid slurps from her cup
And says “These boys are such Brits!”
“It gives me the fits!”
“Aunt Astrid is a part of who we are
But I agree, she is truly bizarre.”
Their father whispers to his British wife
Who dreams of poking Astrid
with her pocket knife
Or perhaps pour some acid
Over her body and soul
Let Astrid boil in their Sunday casserole
Aunt Astrid´s Brother´s Wife is called Mary
She is polite, reserved and allergic to dairy
Mary knows what to wear and when to stay silent
Mary finds Astrid´s behaviour too violent
“I feel so alarmed
Ted and Tom will be harmed”
She tells her husband as she lifts off his coat
He seems to have something stuck in his throat
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